The Game Census
Behold the Kickmen cover art

Behold the Kickmen

Size Five Games · 2017-07-20

Steam

ActionCasualIndieSports

Modes: Single player

Releases: Jun 18, 2020 (Nintendo Switch), Jul 20, 2017 (PC (Microsoft Windows)), Jul 20, 2017 (Mac)

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN is a football game made by someone who has no understanding of, or interest in, what is affectionately known as "The Wonderful Game". Start at the bottom of the Big Boring Football Spreadsheet and grind your way up to become the best at the football anyone's ever seen.

Behold the Kickmen is a 2017 Action, Casual, Indie and Sports game priced at $3.99, with an estimated 50,000 .. 100,000 owners and a Mostly Positive review sentiment (78% of 526 reviews).

0
playing now
78%
positive of 526 reviews
Mostly Positive
steam's rating (official)
50,000–100,000
owners (SteamSpy est.)
26/100
critic score (1 outlets, IGDB)
80/100
IGDB user rating (3 ratings)
platinum
deck/linux tier (ProtonDB)
Playable
Steam Deck (Valve)
SteamOS: Playable
$3.99
steam price (US)

0 players in-game as of 2026-10-14 18:00 UTC (census sample)

Behold the Kickmen is a football video game developed and published by Size Five Games. It was released on 20 July 2017 for macOS and Windows via the Steam platform and for the Nintendo Switch on 18 June 2020.

Health check

Quiet
  • · 0 players in-game at the last census sample.
  • · 3 reviews in the last 8 weeks (~0/week).
  • · Review velocity down 25% vs the prior 8 weeks.
  • · Current weekly pace is under 5% of the all-time peak week (233 reviews).
  • · Top 20% of 27,649 Action games in the census by review count.

Health tier since 2026-08-31

Estimated sales: 13k–32k copies

Review-multiple estimate from 526 total reviews — how this is computed.

All-time low: $0.79 at Steam (2020-12-22)via IsThereAnyDeal

12-month high $3.99 · on sale 3 of 6 observed days (census price snapshots)

Review momentum

PositiveNegative
22422420172026Week of 2017-07-01: 224 positiveWeek of 2017-07-01: 9 negativeWeek of 2017-08-01: 19 positiveWeek of 2017-08-01: 5 negativeWeek of 2017-09-01: 4 positiveWeek of 2017-10-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2017-10-01: 3 negativeWeek of 2017-11-01: 12 positiveWeek of 2017-12-01: 4 negativeWeek of 2018-01-01: 3 positiveWeek of 2018-01-01: 2 negativeWeek of 2018-02-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2018-04-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2018-06-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2018-08-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2018-09-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2018-11-01: 3 positiveWeek of 2019-01-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2019-05-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2019-05-01: 2 negativeWeek of 2019-06-01: 6 positiveWeek of 2019-06-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2019-07-01: 10 positiveWeek of 2019-07-01: 3 negativeWeek of 2019-08-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2019-09-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2019-10-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2019-10-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2019-11-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2019-11-01: 2 negativeWeek of 2019-12-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2020-05-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2020-06-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2020-08-01: 5 positiveWeek of 2020-08-01: 2 negativeWeek of 2020-09-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2020-09-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2020-11-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2020-12-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2020-12-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2021-01-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2021-01-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2021-02-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2021-03-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2021-03-01: 3 negativeWeek of 2021-07-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2021-07-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2021-08-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2021-09-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2021-10-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2021-11-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2021-12-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2022-05-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2022-11-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2022-12-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2023-01-01: 2 positiveWeek of 2023-01-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2023-04-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2023-10-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2023-12-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2023-12-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2024-06-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2024-07-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2024-12-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2024-12-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2025-02-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2025-03-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2025-12-01: 1 positiveWeek of 2026-04-01: 1 negativeWeek of 2026-05-01: 1 positive
Weekly review counts (Steam review histogram). Positive above the line, negative below.

Players online

102026-09-15 03:00 — 0 players2026-09-16 11:00 — 0 players2026-09-17 19:00 — 0 players2026-09-19 02:00 — 0 players2026-09-20 10:00 — 0 players2026-09-21 18:00 — 0 players2026-09-23 01:00 — 0 players2026-09-24 09:00 — 0 players2026-09-25 16:00 — 0 players2026-09-27 00:00 — 0 players2026-09-28 07:00 — 1 players2026-09-29 15:00 — 0 players2026-09-30 22:00 — 0 players2026-10-02 06:00 — 0 players2026-10-03 13:00 — 1 players2026-10-04 21:00 — 0 players2026-10-06 05:00 — 0 players2026-10-07 12:00 — 0 players2026-10-08 20:00 — 0 players2026-10-10 03:00 — 0 players2026-10-11 11:00 — 0 players2026-10-12 19:00 — 0 players2026-10-14 02:00 — 0 players2026-10-14 18:00 — 0 players
Concurrent players, hourly average, last 30 days (census samples).

Price history

$3.99$0.002017-07-212026-07-092017-07-21 — best price $3.592017-11-28 — best price $3.992018-02-15 — best price $3.552018-11-01 — best price $3.992019-02-04 — best price $3.192019-05-21 — best price $3.992019-10-28 — best price $1.392019-12-03 — best price $3.992020-01-23 — best price $1.392020-07-09 — best price $3.992020-10-29 — best price $1.392020-12-01 — best price $3.992021-02-11 — best price $0.792021-07-08 — best price $3.992021-12-22 — best price $1.192022-05-09 — best price $3.992022-11-01 — best price $0.792022-11-29 — best price $3.992023-01-05 — best price $3.992023-06-29 — best price $0.792023-11-28 — best price $3.992024-03-14 — best price $0.992024-07-11 — best price $3.992024-12-19 — best price $0.992025-03-20 — best price $3.992025-09-29 — best price $1.392026-01-05 — best price $3.992026-06-25 — best price $0.992026-07-09 — best price $3.99
Lowest recorded price across tracked stores, per day (census snapshots).

Attention

1002026-06-01 — 2 pageviews2026-06-07 — 4 pageviews2026-06-11 — 6 pageviews2026-06-15 — 8 pageviews2026-06-19 — 1 pageviews2026-06-23 — 3 pageviews2026-06-27 — 2 pageviews2026-07-01 — 5 pageviews2026-07-05 — 5 pageviews2026-07-09 — 8 pageviews2026-07-13 — 6 pageviews2026-07-17 — 6 pageviews2026-07-21 — 2 pageviews2026-07-25 — 1 pageviews2026-07-29 — 3 pageviews2026-08-02 — 2 pageviews2026-08-06 — 1 pageviews2026-08-10 — 4 pageviews2026-08-14 — 1 pageviews2026-08-18 — 5 pageviews2026-08-22 — 3 pageviews2026-08-26 — 1 pageviews2026-08-30 — 1 pageviews2026-09-03 — 2 pageviews2026-09-07 — 6 pageviews2026-09-11 — 2 pageviews2026-09-15 — 3 pageviews2026-09-19 — 2 pageviews2026-09-23 — 6 pageviews2026-09-27 — 1 pageviews2026-10-01 — 4 pageviews2026-10-05 — 1 pageviews2026-10-09 — 0 pageviews2026-10-11 — 1 pageviews
Daily Wikipedia pageviews (attention proxy, census-recorded).

Completion

8
achievements tracked
71.5%
earned "Got the Ump"
37.8%
median achievement earned by

Global achievement rates from Steam.

Details

WindowsmacOSSingle-playerSteam AchievementsPartial Controller SupportFamily Sharing

Console footprint

PlatformPlayers trackedCompletionTrophies/achievements
Steam (Steam)1,10617%8
Switch (Nintendo)70%0

Players tracked by Exophase (achievement/trophy trackers) — a sample of the player base, not total sales.

Player tags

IndieActionCasualSportsFootball (Soccer)

Census log

Computed from census-recorded observations only — dates are observation dates.

Players also track

RICODream AloneHot Shot BurnApsulov: End of GodsTorchlight III

Similarity via IGDB.

Official site ↗